Living life beyond Cerebral Palsy for God's glory.

SIXTY YEARS

Sixty Years

Sixty years ago, a young couple were excitingly expecting their first child. The nursery was prepared, baby items were purchased, and baby showers were held—all in anticipation of a healthy baby.

Mom had a long hard labour and delivery. As soon as I was born, I stopped breathing and was whisked away to ICU, where I spent my first week in an incubator. The doctors didn’t expect me to live. Back then, parents weren’t permitted in the ICU. My parents hope of having a normal child were shattered when they heard that I had Cerebral Palsy.

God had plans for my life—and normal was not in His plan. 

I’ve lived my life being dependant on others, using a wheelchair to get around, and using my mouth to type, paint, knit, and complete many other tasks. With God’s strength and my families support, I’ve been able to graduate from high school, compete around the world for Canada as a Paralympian, run my own accounting business, and publish an award-winning book.

In Mark 10:27 ESV, we read, “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.’” (emphasis mine)

I’d like you to help me celebrate this milestone. Please write a memory below in the comments. It can be funny or sad, but it must be true. I’ll be reading them before they’re posted. Then I may pick one or two to be included in my second book, which is in process. If your story is picked and published in my book, you could win a free copy.

I never expected to reach my sixtieth birthday, but it’s not about me. It’s about God faithfulness shining through brokenness. Why I was born to live with Cerebral Palsy I do not know, but I know the One who does—and I trust Him. If you’re broken, turn to Him. He’ll welcome you with open arms.

John 3:16 ESV says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

In Sept. 2020 I became a Great Aunt, Kristal had her first baby.

Dear Mom

It’s been a year since you graduated to heaven. We miss you so much. It has been an incredibly hard year. Life is so different without you.

Terry came the day you left. He was a great help to Dad, getting him through that first week. Michelle and all your grandchildren came on Friday. Dan’s family came home from the U.S.A.  Saturday we had your Celebration of Life at the church. Many of your friends came from all over. It was a great service and you would have been shocked that your four children spoke at the service, even Sharon and Danny.

Dad misses you so much. Sharon and I are keeping him fed and teaching him how to cook. Ginger misses you also. She chewed up your eyeglasses!  

I’m struggling. It has been hard to not talk with you, see you, and be with you. There has been nothing easy about this year. In February the world was in a pandemic. That’s a virus that makes people very sick. By mid-March everything was closed. Schools, stores, and churches were closed, but we could watch the service online. People had to work from home. The Canada-US border has been closed. People had to self-isolate for weeks and life was pretty depressing. At times I was wishing I could be with you. God took you at the right time because this would have been very stressful for you. We have to wear a face mask when we go into stores or anywhere else in public. You would be impressed that I have masks to match my clothes.

Danny and Grace were able to open the new bakery location in May and it’s thriving. It’s actually doing better than the old location. It’s so busy that Danny is working there 80 hours a week! The people just keep coming. The lunch items are a big hit. We go there Sunday mornings to watch church online, as it’s safer for Dad. We’re there as a family and Danny cooks lunch. It has become a special time that we all look forward to.

The first Sunday in August, Ian and Sharon woke up to a big fire on their property, and the beautiful barn that Ian built was gone in a matter of minutes. They lost everything accept the house. It was very devastating. The fire marshal doesn’t know what started it.

In September Sharon became a grandmother and you a great grandmother. Kristal had a healthy and happy baby boy, but her delivery was far from easy.  She’s a great mother and takes Joey to see Great Grandpa often. Ainsley started university in September, but it’s all online. So, she’s at home. That would make you happy, to still have her here.

Life is so different now. I feel very alone without you. Your passing left a big hole in my heart. When we were at the funeral home saying our goodbyes to you, Dad told me that you needed me as much as I needed you. Thank you for being the best mom, encourager, coach, cheerleader, and friend I could ever have had. I love you and miss you. Mom, I’m so glad you gave your life to Jesus as a teen. I know I will see you again.

18 The LORD is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.   Psalms 34:18 (ESV)

Mom & I in Hawaii 2011

Mom’s Tribute

On November 26, 2019, my world was rocked. My mother was taken home to be with Jesus.  This was my tribute to her. It was read at her funeral.

 

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” (Proverbs 31:28-29 NLT)

We met when she was 21. She was an ordinary person, but her smile would warm up the coldest day. She loved chocolate, ice cream, black coffee, and making things with her hands. She always made time to listen and help others.

She knew nothing about Cerebral Palsy, but she was willing to learn. She pushed me to work hard, but at the same time, she accepted my limitations and loved me for who I was.  When the world told me I could not succeed, she told me to try.  Mom would not let me use the words, “I can’t.”  She made me try everything at least once.  Sometimes her friends would get upset with her because she wouldn’t help me, but her perseverance made me who I am today.

Even before my sports career began, she was my biggest cheerleader! She was always encouraging and pushing me to go further. Even my staff gets frustrated with me because they want to help me, but because of my mom, I am determined to do things on my own as much as I possibly can.

She took me to Pioneer Girls at our church. I loved to earn badges, but I was concerned I could not get my hiking badge. But she made sure I could by carrying me on her back through the woods with the other girls. Then I had to light a fire to finish the badge. The other leaders said not to worry about lighting the fire, but Mom insisted that I would do it if I wanted to complete the requirements. She got me to hold the match in my front teeth and brought the box up close so I could strike it. Then I leaned down, dropping the match on the paper and the fire was lit.

Mom looked after me every day for the first 25 years of my life: getting me up and dressed every morning, bathing me, feeding me, getting me ready for bed. She could not call in sick. The doctors told her to give me up and put me in an institution, but she would not.

Mom had a sense of humour. She wanted me to experience life. One morning when she was getting me out of bed (I am not a morning person), she sat me on the toilet with the seat up, which resulted in me plunging into the cold water, waking me up rather abruptly. When I looked at her with a questioning shocked look, she just laughed and said, “I just thought you should experience this!”

Mom travelled to many of my sports events. The biggest event was the 1984 Paralympics in New York, where she proudly carried around the Canadian Flag. During the wheelchair soccer game that I was playing in, she was interviewed on TSN. To this day, I don’t know what she said, but that interview was a highlight of this trip for her.

On Tuesday God called Mom home. She has left a big hole in our family and in my heart, but I know she is with her Saviour and Lord.

Thanks, Mom. You’re the best! See you soon.

A Trek to Bethlehem.

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” (Luke 2:14)

 

On December 2nd my friends took me on a long-awaited trek. Every year on the first Saturday in December the town of Bala hosts a “Trek to Bethlehem,” and I have wanted to go for the past 13 years. But because it has been too snowy, too cold, or both, I have not been able to go. My wheelchair does not go far in the snow.

This year was different. There was no snow and it was a balmy five degrees. This was my chance. So Elaine called to see if we could get in easily and early. The organizers were very helpful and even reserved a parking spot close to the venue.  Elaine and Heather went in my van. (Heather drove as I cannot.) It took an hour to get there. We easily found our parking spot. Brian and Yvonne followed in their car. Brian also uses a wheelchair. So they joined us on this adventure. We were shown a side door where there were no steps. Heather bundled me up so I would not get cold. It’s harder to stay warm when you sit all the time.

As we waited for our group to go through the trek, we listened to choirs singing Christmas carols. When our group was called, we gathered with our leader, Rebecca, who led us through the streets of Bethlehem and kept us safe from the Roman solders. We saw travelers on a donkey, angels singing, Roman soldiers questioning our travels, sheep with shepherd. Our leader kept us on track and we had to stop at the tax collectors to pay our taxes and have our papers stamped.

The highlight for me was arriving at the stable, seeing Mary and Joseph with baby Jesus. It was simple, too cold a place for a baby to be born. It was stark and bare. My King and Savour, the God of the universe, born in a barn with animals, came to live then to die on a cross.

Jesus, thank you for coming to earth to save sinful people. I can never repay you but am very thankful you came.

I left with the awe of what Christmas is about.

 

“And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn” (Luke 2:7).

Mother’s Day

For Mother’s day I thought I should re-post this.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised” (Proverbs 31:30 NLT).

We met when she was 21. She was an ordinary person, but her warm smile would warm up the coldest day. She loved chocolate, ice cream, black coffee, and making things with her hands. She always made time to listen or help others. She knew nothing about Cerebral Palsy, but she was willing to learn. She pushed me to work hard, but at the same time, she accepted my limitations and loved me for who I was.  When the world told me I could not succeed, she told me to try.

This person is my mother. She looked after me every day for the first 25 years of my life: getting me up and dressed every morning, bathing me, feeding me, getting me ready for bed. She could not call in sick. The doctors told her to give me up and put me in an institution, but she did not.

In 2012 Mom went through a different battle. She had ovarian cancer. Mom went through surgery and chemo. This May she has been done chemo for five years. It has not been an easy five years. She has lived through much pain and the chemo has given her many other issues to deal with.

I want to thank Mom for her dedication to Jesus, her husband, her children, grandchildren, and life.

Thanks, Mom, I love you, you’re the best!

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” (Proverbs 31:28-29 NLT)

BOOK SIGNING

phot-poster NO DATE

SATURDAY MAY 14th FROM 11AM TILL 2PM

CHAPTERS @ 1037 WELLINGTON ROAD

WE LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOU.

Jay

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom”

(Psalm 90:12 ESV)

 

JAY

            It was September 1977 and life was exciting and scary all at the same time. I was in my first year of high school, I received my first power wheelchair, and our family had started going to a new church.

I started going to youth group at church. It was a fun time to be meeting others my age, but it was a bit intimidating being the only one in a wheelchair. Some people would not talk to me, afraid of the unknown. There were some people who looked beyond my wheelchair and got to know me as a person. One of those people was Jay.

Jay was a good friend. He saw me as a person, not a wheelchair. If there was an event going on he would take me and he would pop my chair in his car after lifting me in. I never felt like a burden for him. Even in high school, Jay put Jesus first in his life. He had a part-time job at our church as a custodian, and one Saturday evening after youth group, a few of us were waiting for Jay to drive us home after he closed up the church. He bounded down the stairs to tell us he was almost done. He wanted to check the baptistery tank, as there were some baptisms Sunday morning. Five minutes later he was sloshing down the steps, wet from the knees down. He started to explain: “It looked so clear I didn’t think there was any water in it.” We all laughed as we got in his car to be driven home by a wet driver.

Jay went on to be a teacher. He married and had three children. Life was busy as we went different directions, but in January 2015 Jay emailed me to see if I would speak at his church for their Father/Daughter banquet. On May 8 Katie drove me to Hamilton to speak at this event. That evening I watched as Jay helped set up, organize, and run the event, I realized he was still very dedicated to his Saviour Jesus. You could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. It was an honour to be a guest speaker at this banquet. I had the privilege of meeting and chatting with his beautiful and only daughter.

December 2, 2015, on Jay’s way home from teaching, he was hit by a car and killed. I know Jay is in heaven with Jesus, not because he was good but because he knew Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

You can know Jesus too. He died for you many years ago on Good Friday. Seek Him while you have life and breath.

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21 ESV)

 

 

Graphic for Deb's Blog

When Deb asked me to write a guest post for her blog, I said, “Sure!” And then I sat down to write. “Shall I give step-by-step insight into the writing process?” “Shall I make a list of some of the lessons I’ve learned since first meeting Deb?” Or . . . “Shall I share the story of a family who, long ago, also lived beyond their circumstances?”
Here is my poem “’Twas the Day Before Christmas,” based on Clement Clarke Moore’s classic.

’Twas the day before Christmas and all through the land,
The people were traveling, some hand in hand,
No stockings were hung, no chimneys in sight,
Just walking – keep walking – until it is night.

Some people were nestled all snug in their beds
While others had nowhere to lay down their heads,
And Mary was slowly plodding along,
Not knowing the angels were prepping a song.

Then up ahead they saw the bright lights,
The small town of Bethlehem coming in sight,
“Ah, now at last, a place we can rest,
“Perhaps they have room at the inn for a guest.”

But, no, the inn’s full; the owner is sad,
He knows Mary’s tired; he feels really bad,
But he offers a stable and freshly strewn hay,
“I hope it’s enough” is all he could say.

The smiles on their faces touched the man’s heart,
Surely he wanted to do a small part
To make the babe welcome whose coming was near,
The baby whose coming would drive away fear.

Now Mary and Joseph, their Sweet Baby Boy
Whose coming would bring oh so much joy,
A tiny young fam’ly on top of the world,
Such glory and wonder around them was curled!

And out in the pasture, where shepherds kept sheep,
Talking and working, not falling asleep,
A strange thing did happen; they trembled in fear,
A voice from the heavens boomed very near.

It was an angel sent from above,
To speak of God’s glory, to speak of His love,
To send them to town, away from their lambs,
“Leave behind ewes and leave behind rams.

“For something most wondrous has happened this night,
“Go now to Bethlehem; do what is right,
“The Promise of Ages has come now to you,
“The Saviour, Messiah, is born; it is true.

“He’s dressed not in splendour or a king’s royal cloth,
“He’s just wrapped in swaddling, and that is enough,
“But go now and worship your Lamb and your King,
“And as you will journey, all heaven will sing.”

Their eyes how they twinkled and glistened with tears,
For the One that they spoke of had been promised for years,
And now they would see Him and give Him their praise,
This surely would prove the most glorious of days.

Their staffs they would carry, gripped firm in their hand,
The best gift of all had come to their land,
And they got to see Him, simple shepherds no less,
They saw the new Saviour; they were so blessed.

Maybe chubby and plump, snuggled in hay,
Wonder of wonders, what a great day!
The shepherds were awestruck, the babe’s family too,
The Promise of Heaven had that night come true.

He spoke not a word but went straight to their hearts,
His work lay before Him; this was the start,
He’d come down from heaven, left angels behind,
Entrusted to shepherds, this message we find.

They sprang from their knees, went out from that place,
Sharing the news of God’s goodness and grace,
We hear them exclaim to this very day,
“The Saviour has come; now walk in His way.”

2015 Headshot 2 (small)

Steph Beth Nickel is a freelance writer and editor and was honoured to co-author Deb Willows’ award-winning memoir, Living Beyond My Circumstances. This fall they met to discuss ideas for Deb’s second book, tentatively titled Still Living Beyond My Circumstances. Steph looks forward to this next phase of the adventure. Photo Credit: Stephen G. Woo

Fifty Six Years

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV).

Wedding Day 1959

Wedding Day 1959

Today we celebrate my mom and dad as they have been married for 56 years. In today’s world, this is a big accomplishment.

 

Fifty-six years ago they were young, nervous, happy, and in love. They had no idea where this journey would take them, but they made the commitment to put God first in their marriage. They have lived in three homes, raised four children, opened their home to other children in need, always had a dog or two, built cottages, and expanded their home, taught, traveled, and lived through a kidney transplant, diabetes and cancer.

 

They enjoy being retired, spending their winters in the south, watching their ten grandchildren grow up, helping at church, and renting their cottages in the summers. Life is still full of ups and downs, health issues, and just plain aging concerns, but they keep going, being there for each other and their family.

 

I want to thank you, Mom and Dad, for your commitment to God, each other, and your family.

June 2015

June 2015

We love you.

The Word Guild Award

Paralympian Deb Willows and her coauthor, Steph Beth Nickel, are thrilled to announce that Living Beyond My Circumstances, available from Castle Quay Books and other suppliers, has won after being shortlisted in The Word Awards 2014 Life Stories category. Though born with cerebral palsy and faced with numerous challenges over the years, Deb has had many dreams come true, the nomination and subsequent win of her memoir being the most recent. She and Steph are honoured and overjoyed.

book award

Winners in each category were from across Canada and recognized on Saturday, June 13, 2015, at The Word Awards Gala held at the Novotel Hotel in Toronto, ON. If you would like to see the complete list of winners, please check out The Word Guild website

 

Deb is available to speak in schools, churches, and other venues. If you are interested, please contact her at contact-Deb@bell.net

 

Steph is a freelance editor and writer and a regular contributor to HopeStreamRadio She is also available to speak and teach. You can contact her at stephbethnickel@gmail.com

 

Deb and Steph trust that this honour will open even more doors for them to point others to the Lord Jesus, the Source of their hope, strength, and salvation.

 

Living Beyond My Circumstances is for anyone who is facing life’s challenges and desires to “go for the gold.”

 

As Deb said in her speech on June 13th,

“This book and award is dedicated to Jesus Christ, my Saviour and Lord. Without Him, my life and this book would be meaningless.

I would like to thank Steph helped put my ideas into words, my parents who have encouraged me to live life and to Larry & Marina for getting this story published.”

For His Glory.

Steph, Larry & Marnia with Deb

Steph, Larry & Marnia with Deb.